Good Family Fun

Bren Sheriff
Bren Sheriff


Good Family Fun

By Brenda “Bren” Sheriff, CSA

On Sunday — Mother's Day — I took a stroll down memory lane. Try it, you might like it. And your family, if not now, then certainly later, will appreciate your efforts to leave them a family trail and tale to follow.

One thing we elders should seriously consider is sharing family stories, going through old photographs, and identifying people by name, approximate year, and relationship. Consider labeling heirlooms with their history — who owned them and the stories behind them. This is also a meaningful time to begin noting who you'd like to receive your family "treasures," whether now or after you pass. It's your call.

You may have noticed — I love my Black heritage and my Southern roots. I often tell folks I was born so far back in the country, our June bugs didn't reach us until August.

We all have memories. Make it a family tradition, in this upcoming season of family gatherings, to set aside time for an intergenerational conversation. You might wonder: What should we talk about? If there's one thing I've learned, Black folks are rarely at a loss for words — and everyone loves a good story. Before your next family gathering, think of one of your own upbeat life stories. Call relatives who'll be there and ask them to come prepared with a tale of their own, or to help you keep your story straight.

Be sure to bring the younger generations into the conversation — especially when their parents' teenage antics come alive in front of their own teenage children. Priceless.

Most of us grew up with the oral tradition. Let's not cheat our younger generations out of the griot tradition of our African ancestors. There is a West African proverb: "Each time an elder dies, a library burns." You might think GenZ and Gen Alpha have no interest in "old-time stuff" — and you may be partly right. But they love a good challenge and they love showing you what you don't know. As Black elders, we can absolutely roll with that.

We as Black families are so blessed. Our cultural language is what can — and will — keep us connected. Have you noticed that Black culture is always dominant? Just think about what Hip Hop has done to reshape what language is considered mainstream. F bombs are falling everywhere and if you haven’t heard any, FAFO – they are definitely on the airwaves.

There is a quiet crisis no one is talking about — not the loudest emergency on the evening news, but one that strikes at the very soul of who we are as a people. Black culture, carried through generations through language and our unique oral tradition, will dissolve if we do nothing to keep it alive. We as elders owe it to our ancestors, and to those yet to be born, to preserve our Black cultural legacy. Getting your house in order is not just about a will, a life insurance policy, or knowing where the important papers are. It is also about preserving what cannot be found in any filing cabinet — passing down our rich oral family histories: stories of life's challenges and triumphs, heartbreaks and joys, all the vicissitudes of life — and still we rise.

How about some good family fun?  If you enjoy a good laugh, try asking your "know-it-all" Gen Z and Gen Alphas the meaning of some of these old Black traditional sayings. Just for a hoot, here are some of my favorites:

  • "You don't believe fat meat's greasy." — Refusing to accept obvious truths.
  • "You can't see the forest for the trees." — Too close to a situation to see it clearly.
  • "Put your brain in a bird and he'd fly backwards." — Completely clueless and inept.
  • "Only time'll tell." — No matter how smart, experienced, or prepared we think we are, time is the final judge.
  • "Every goodbye ain't gone." — Someone who leaves may still be influencing things from afar.
  • "Every shut eye ain't sleep." — Not everyone who seems unaware is truly oblivious.
  • "All skin folk ain't kinfolk." — People who look like you or claim solidarity don't always have your best interests at heart.
  • "A closed mouth don't get fed." — You have to speak up for what you need.
  • "Chickens come home to roost." — Your past actions eventually catch up with you.
  • "You can't put old heads on young shoulders." — Wisdom comes with time.
  • "Crooked roads make straight fools." — Dishonest paths can lead good people astray.
  • "A watched pot never boils." — Impatience makes waiting feel longer and can disrupt natural processes.

And remember — turnabout is fair play. Ask your Gens to quiz you on the meaning of their sayings. Who knows? If you capture their attention you might be a lit GOAT — and not just an old one.  LOL

THIS WEEK’S QUIZ: If your spouse inherits a million dollars from a rich uncle, are you automatically entitled to 50% in Illinois?

Answer to last week’s quiz: This was a “have it your way answer”. You were asked to provide

 the names and offices held by folks you voted for who most impact YOUR life.

For Questions or Help: 773-817-0601 or basheriff1@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The illustrations presented in this column are not, nor are they intended to be, legal, financial, or any other licensed professional advice, you should contact the licensed professional of your choice for advice on your individual situation.

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