Abstinence Expert Writes Book About Waiting Until Marriage

Melanie L. Brown is the author of “My Life Without Sex: A 40-Year-Old Virgin Shares How to Set Boundaries to Wait for Sex.” Photo provided by Melanie L. Brown.
Melanie L. Brown is the author of “My Life Without Sex: A 40-Year-Old Virgin Shares How to Set Boundaries to Wait for Sex.” Photo provided by Melanie L. Brown.

Abstinence Expert Writes Book About Waiting Until Marriage

By Tia Carol Jones

National Health Education runs through Oct. 24th. Writer Melanie L. Brown wants to use her book to inspire others. Brown, a virgin/abstinence expert, is the author of “My Life Without Sex: A 40-Year-Old Virgin Shares How to Set Boundaries to Wait for Sex.”

According to Planned Parenthood, abstinence can be a way to avoid the risks that come with sex -- like pregnancy and STDs. According to the American Pregnancy Association, abstinence is the only 100% effective means of preventing pregnancy. Other health websites list emotional benefits to abstinence, which includes lowering stress, increased focus and concentration, healing from traumatic experiences, building discipline and promoting religious satisfaction.

Brown said she wanted to write the book because she was led by God to do it and it was something that was needed. Throughout her abstinence journey, she couldn’t find books that would help her. She said she felt that people could use her book as a blueprint. She said she wanted other people to look at her testimony and see that if she could get through it so could they.

“I just wanted to show that there are people who are living this long who haven’t partaken in sex and it is possible,” she said.

The book details the life experiences of Brown, a 41-year-old virgin, who is saving herself for marriage and includes stories about what she has encountered during her journey. She said the closer she got to 40, people would tease her about potentially being a 40-year-old virgin. A woman of faith, she is waiting until she meets the right person and gets married. She said her faith and religion hold a lot of bearing in her decision. She made the decision when she was 12 ½ years old to save herself for marriage. She is also the oldest of six and she wanted to set an example for her younger sisters.

Brown said as other people learned about her abstinence journey, they were inspired. She even went on The Steve Harvey Show when she was 28 years old to talk about being a virgin. A lot of the comments on the clip encourage Brown to stay a virgin until she is ready. Years later, she is sharing how her decision is inspiring other people to wait because now they know they are not alone. She said that she was hoping that she would be married by 40, but she acknowledges how difficult dating is nowadays. She believes that everything happens for a reason.

Brown was engaged previously while she was in college but didn’t end up getting married. Upon reflecting, she believes that whoever she marries, the wait will all be worth it. She said while people’s initial reaction is surprise or disbelief, responses to the book have been positive. Some people have also expressed that they wish they would have waited and told her that God is going to bless her with a really good guy.

Brown said that she wasn’t hesitant to be vulnerable about her journey and that it feels good to know that she is inspiring people to wait. She said she wants people to know that there are ways to enjoy a relationship that doesn’t include sex. She also said the book discusses the importance of setting boundaries. She said the book is suitable for people 16 years of age and older.

The book costs $25 for paperback and is available on Amazon.

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