Having It Mom’s Way

BREN SHERIFF
BREN SHERIFF




Having It Mom ’s Way

After a spouse dies, few decisions weigh heavier on the survivor than what to do with the family home. It’s not just about whether to stay—it’s about what happens after that surviving spouse passes on. (Statistically, women outlive their spouses, so we’ll assume that’s the case here.)

A couple owned their home in joint tenancy. When the husband died, the wife automatically became sole owner. Years later, when she passed away, their three adult children discovered that the home—now solely in her name—had to go through probate because she had no estate plan for succession. The “simple” joint tenancy that had spared her probate delays at her husband’s death left her children facing emotional and legal entanglements that proper planning could have avoided.

The key lesson: Once the home is in Mom’s name, she must decide how and when to pass it on—and who will manage that process.

The safest, most flexible choice for surviving spouses in this situation is to establish a Revocable Living Trust. This allows Mom to maintain full control of her home and any assets placed in the trust while she’s alive and competent. She can amend or revoke it anytime. The trust should clearly detail how she wants her affairs handled—both during her lifetime (competent or not) and after her death—and name a successor trustee (a person or entity) to carry out her wishes privately and without probate.

But here’s where many families stumble: Who should be that successor trustee?
It’s tempting to name the oldest child or the one who lives closest. Yet the best trustee is not necessarily the eldest or most available—it’s the one who is organized, impartial, and trustworthy enough to follow the plan exactly as written. If no child fits that description—or if appointing one could stir resentment—Mom should consider naming a neutral third-party trustee such as a bank, trust company, or attorney. That decision removes emotional strain from family hands.

Mom should also call a family meeting to explain her intentions and invite her estate planning professional to answer questions. Transparency now can prevent heartbreak later.

Another common challenge: children with different goals. One may want to sell the house, while another hopes to live there “for a while.” To prevent disputes, the trust should include clear, binding instructions, such as:

  • The home must be sold within six months of death, with proceeds divided equally;
  • A child wishing to keep the home must buy out siblings at an appraised value within a set time.
  • Or, if the home is to be retained, the trust must define who pays taxes, insurance, and upkeep.

Without those written terms, love can turn to litigation. A well-drafted trust is binding—and peace-preserving.

The bottom line: clarity prevents conflict. A Revocable Living Trust, properly written and managed by the right successor trustee, ensures that what parents built together continues to strengthen—not divide—the family.
That’s truly having it Mom’s way.

My best to you and yours,

Bren Sheriff, CSA

THIS WEEK’S QUIZ: What is an insurable interest, why is it important?

Answer to the last quiz: The greatest significance of Medicare Open Enrollment (Oct. 15-Dec. 7) is that it is the one time each year when most beneficiaries can make comprehensive changes to their coverage – WITHOUT PENALTY. Call your agent today to make sure that your coverage will still meet your needs in 2026. 

For Questions or Help: 773-817-0601 or basheriff1@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The illustrations presented in this column are not, nor are they intended to be, legal, financial, or any other licensed professional advice, you should contact the licensed professional of your choice for advice on your individual situation.



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