Author writes book about experience with mother’s Alzheimer’s journey
By Tia Carol Jones
Author Cheryl Watkins, PhD, has always liked words and phrases, the way they sound and how people put them together.
When she came up with the title of her book, the word that resonated was “her.” There was something about that word and she knew it had to be in the title, she called it “Releasing Her: Wrestling Peace from the Jaws of Alzheimer’s.” The book details Watkins’ five-year journey of caring for her mother who had Alzheimer’s Disease.
Dr. Watkins also loves books. Her mother was an avid reader, who always had novels and read newspapers. She was always in her family’s encyclopedia, looking up some errant word or place and reading and loving every minute of it.
Watkins’ fifth grade teacher knew she would be a teacher. She began her career with the Chicago Public Schools as a special education teacher and moved through the ranks to become a principal of Pershing West Middle School, then to Chief of schools in Network 13.
Watkins wrote the book because she wanted to tell people about her mother. It became more serious for her when she realized she had friends who also cared for their parents, but they never talked about it. They never talked about how Alzheimer’s Disease ravaged families. Watkins wanted to write the book to open up opportunities for conversation around Alzheimer’s, what it looks like in the African American community and communities of color. She wanted to talk about the services available and the way people’s loved ones are cared for.
“I wanted to facilitate dialogue. I love to talk. I love talking about things I’m passionate about, so this was an opportunity to do that,” she said. “I also thought, what a way for me to work through dealing with the loss of my mother and the absence of her voice each day.”
It brought Watkins a sense of peace to write the book. Through the process of writing the book, Watkins thought a lot about how her mother talked to her and the things she said to her. When moments would come to her where she would remember her mother, she took time to write those thoughts down and think about what she was feeling. She wrote anytime a memory hit her.
If she heard phrases like SOS (Stuck on Stupid) or CRS (Can’t Remember Stuff), it reminded her of her mother, and she would write a note about how it reminded her of her mother.
Watkins wants people to grieve but grow: gaining knowledge out of the grief, grieving but growing out of the grief and moving forward.
Dr. Watkins hopes that people who read the book get courage. The courage to do some of the things she suggested in the final thoughts section. Some of those include taking care of themselves, speaking to an attorney, and harvesting memories. Also, being bold enough and courageous enough to ask the questions of their loved ones that need to be asked.
“I hope that they gain courage to speak up and advocate for their loved ones. I just hope they find the best place for their mom, their dad, their aunt, their uncle, whoever it might be. I hope they find those places,” she said. “I just hope they talk about it, that they engage in conversations with someone else.”
People have reached out to Dr. Watkins to ask her advice about advocating for their loved ones. Watkins has participated in virtual book talks, speaking to people who want someone to listen to them as they talk about their experiences.
“I want them to learn about my mother, but I want them to get bold and brave about Alzheimer’s and what it takes to care for a loved one,” she said.
“Releasing Her: Wrestling Peace from the Jaws of Alzheimer's” is available on Amazon.
