Iyanla: Still Nurturing The Spirit

Thelma Sardin |

In the late 1990s, relationship and spiritual expert, Iyanla Vanzant was a familiar face to Americans due to her bi-weekly appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Before Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, Vanzant was Oprahs protg who had a promising future. Suddenly, Vanzants talk show appearances ceased and viewers were left wondering what had happened. She resurfaced with The Iyanla Show and it was canceled after one season. The self-help guru recently appeared on the Oprah show for the first time in over ten years. The two women had a frank conversation exposing the reason why Vanzant abruptly left the Oprah show.

Vanzant said she was approached by another powerful woman in television who noticed her star potential, was offered her own television show and that after being approached, prayed over the matter. She said she approached Oprah and her staff about it but Oprah said she didnt think Vanzant was ready for her own television show and that she thought Vanzant had more growing to do. Vanzant ultimately left Oprahs wing for the opportunity to start her own show, but the show was later canceled. After that, Vanzant told a story on Oprah.com of how she lost everything including her home, her marriage, her multimillion-dollar book deals, her fortune and her daughter, Gemmia, who died after battling cancer.

But like a phoenix, she rises. After hitting a low point in her life, shes back with a new book entitled, Peace from Broken Pieces. She hopes her experiences will help others heal from devastating situations in their lives. After all, writing is very therapeutic and one persons trials can help others. Recently, the Citizen spoke with Vanzant and discussed how women can remain in touch with their spiritual selves.

Women should have a daily spiritual practice, Vanzant says in order to maintain their spiritual wellness. Everybody has to create their own practice. Some people read scriptures, some people meditate, some people pray, some people journal-- write.there is no right formula, you have to do what [fits] your soul, she says.

Women who have experienced pain or abuse often develop unconscious behavioral patterns. This type of conduct can produce negative feelings, can hold a person back from achieving something or attract toxic people into a persons life. ...Everybody needs to identify their unconscious behavior patterns because those are the things that we act out in our lives; those are the things that attract other people into our lives. If youve gotten an unconscious pattern or a dysfunctional pattern operating in your mind, youre gonna attract people and experiences into your life that are demonstrating that pattern, Vanzant adds.

The spiritual expert also spoke about how women can balance the demands of their physical lives with the desires of their spiritual lives. In this context, physical life means the everyday grind a woman encounters including work, school and family etc. We have to be sure that we are scheduling and choosing and committing to do activities whether its spiritual or physical, that get us to the places we wanna be. [If] we can be committed to getting our nails done, hair done, going to the club, going to church or wherever, its the same kind of commitment that [we] have to make for a daily spiritual practice, she says.

Its important for a woman to be spiritually awake, she says because humans are spiritual beings. We happen to have a physical body and we live in a physical world, but the true essence of who we are is spiritual. We get too wrapped up in the physical that we ignore the spiritual and then our lives fall apart. So the goal is to live the truth of who we are which is spiritual and have a better experience in what we create and what we choose which is physical, she contends.

Vanzant also believes that spirituality and religion are not the same. Of course you can be spiritual without religion and you can be religious without being spiritual. Religion is man-made, spiritual is God-given. We all have a spirit, she said. Vanzant went on to say that church allows us to fellowship and an opportunity to congregate with other individuals who share the same beliefs.

Recognizing Womens History Month, the Citizen asked Vanzant about the type of women who have influenced her life the most. All women influence me one way or another; neighborhoods who worked hard raising their kids or taking care of the community; women in the public eye who had a clear voice such as poet Maya Angelou and Essence Magazines former Editor-In-Chief Susan L. Taylor, Vanzant adds. She also says Oprah has inspired her but thinks in general Oprah has inspired the world.

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